The profession of medicine could not operate without nurses. It’s not a secret to anyone who has ever been to a doctor’s appointment or had a hospital stay that the nurses define our experience and even recovery process perhaps more than any other medical professional we encounter. We may be having a routine procedure, setting up a regular appointment, or having a serious conversation with the doctor; but the presence of a nurse may shape how well the patient deals with the situation and psychologically handles the outcome.
If you live with a chronic illness, you have likely been around enough nurses to remember one who didn’t acknowledge your presence, the one who procrastinated in bringing your medication when you were in the hospital, or maybe just the nurse who enjoys her role as the doctor’s gatekeeper a little too much.
But as a chronically ill patient, and our many encounters with nursing staff, we can also fondly recollect the nurses who helped us make undeniable recoveries by being our advocate when doctors wouldn’t listen, or by simply holding our hand while we endured a painful (and possibly lonely) medical procedure.
Recently, when I was checked into the hospital, the nurse from the wound care center had to push me in a wheelchair through an outside maze of a construction zone walkway. Ironically, she shared that she too had rheumatoid arthritis like myself. I felt like I made a new friend in those ten minutes and she made me much more comfortable in getting to my destination.
As the editor of a magazine called HopeKeepers, I have attempted to find a nurse who would submit an article that would shed some light on what a typical day for a nurse is like at a doctor’s office. I realize that it can be frantic, scheduling and rescheduling dozens of people, all who need to see the doctor today. Nurses try to please the physicians, check patients in, take health histories, give out lollipops and smile, all while attempting to do more than can be expected in the time allotted.
I haven’t found a nurse yet who was even willing to be interviewed for an article; more than a few have said, “If my article was discovered I could lose my job!”
With chronically ill patients and nurses continuing to improve their understanding of one anothers and each others needs however, there is only room for improvement in this long-standing relationship. Sadly, sometimes the nurse/patient relationship lasts longer than some marriages.
Here are 12 ways to better understand the chronically ill patient.
[1] When you ask what medications I am currently taking, please don’t look flabbergasted or skeptical when I pull out a couple of sheets of paper. I’m really not an addict.
[2] When you take a moment to ask me about how I am doing emotionally, not just physically, I feel like you really do care. In some ways this makes me more comfortable and even forthcoming about the physical symptoms when the doctor asks me questions later.
[3] When you celebrate my little successes with me, it can be the highlight of my day. You understand unlike most people how hard it can be to reach a goal weight on certain medications or what a struggle it can be to wean off a medication. I know you hear the stories of patients like me every day so I appreciate your enthusiasm for my little successes.
[4] Logically, I know you don’t know every medication on the market, but when you have to ask me how to spell the medication that is advertised in every womens magazine, I wonder how often you get out of the office.
[5] By simply telling me, “I don’t know how you cope so well. I really admire your attitude and how you deal with this dease,” I can float around for days.
[6] I appreciate it when you ask, “Would it be okay if I pray for you?” Some people may say no, but for many it will be the first time some cared enough to even ask.
[7] When I am undergoing a medical procedure and my family cannot be there, having you hold my hand makes all the difference. Thanks for understanding the fact that any medical procedure, no matter how minor, is major to me.
[8] I am somewhat of a “professional patient.” And that means I can come across a little bit like a control freak when it comes to monitoring my pain level and knowing when and how much medication I need to control it. That said, handing you the reins of dispersing all of my medication when I’m in the hospital is a challenge. The time of morning I take my drugs makes all the difference in my day. So I appreciate when you are able to get it to me as close to the right time as possible.
[9] If you are having a bad day, just tell me, “Today has been a little hectic.” I know you are human and have rough days, but when you are grumpy I tend to think I’ve done something to upset you and have been known to take it personally.
[10] When I’m trying to schedule an appointment for a specific day, or you are trying to reach me and I’m unavailable, I’m not trying to be difficult. Although a lot of my time is filled with doctors appointments, therapies, lab tests, etc. I’m also trying to have as normal of life as possible and give my family the same thing.
[11] When you do something like call a prescription into the pharmacy so it’s ready when I get there, and I don’t have to wait, I recognize that it’s an extra step for you, and appreciate it a great deal.
[12] When I’m stuck in the hospital, I appreciate the way you go out of your way to make it as pleasant as possible. Things like help in the shower, changing the sheets, or having a conversation about something normal, all help distract me from my surroundings. Thank you for treating me like a person and not a project.
Coping with a chronic illness is very difficult. Choosing the path of a nursing career is not easy either. When each graciously passes along encouragement to one another by saying “thank you” or “I so admire your strength,” both the nurse and the patient can have a much more productive–sometimes even enjoyable–relationship.
Lisa Copen is the founder of Invisible Illness Awareness Week held each year in Sept and featuring a free 5-day virtual conference w/ 20 speakers. Follow II Week on Twitter for prizes and info. Blog about invisible illness on your site, be a featured guest blogger, meet others, read articles and lots more. Make a difference!